I spent last night coming to terms with how I feel about Joshua. That I don't need him in my life to be complete. I'm a complete person on my own. More than he can say. I woke up this morning with a splitting headache. The house is much more at peace when he isnt here, the cats, all 17 of them are happy and not breaking anything. Even the girls are getting along. Yet when I got downstairs I suddenly felt overwhelmed. All the mess the cats had made and the girls hounding me for lunch and I was barely even awake yet. I sat down and tried to help Hannah with her homework and I had to excuse myself because I suddenly started crying hysterically. I wasnt thinking about him so I don't know where it came from. I spent the rest of the afternoon feeling sick to my stomach. I'm not crying anymore, but he's on his way over to get the stuff he forgot.
How am I suppose to get over him with him texting me every few minutes to tell me he misses me and he's sorry. How can I accomplish anything with him here when he isnt here and making his presence known the rest of the time. I just want some peace. Yes I'd like to be with him, but not with him the way he is now.
No comments:
Post a Comment